I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before, but one of the hardest things about being back in school is that I don’t know anything.
Young people take the vast unknown for granted; it’s just a fact of life. Growing up means we hone our skills, get some life lessons under our belts, start getting good at things. We know stuff, and at some point we take for granted that we know stuff.
I was at that point. Without even realizing it I was in the comfortable position of knowing stuff. I knew my job. I knew my people. I had my routine. If something broke I knew how to fix it. There are always exceptions, but I knew that! As a student, I know nothing. I get it: the very nature of being a student is learning stuff I don’t know. But I’m older now and it’s unsettling.
I don’t know stuff anymore. I don’t like it.
The kids and I were near my old job yesterday, so we stopped in for a visit. I always miss the people, but I never miss dispatching. Yesterday, for the first time in over two years, I missed my job. I recognized the voices on the radio. I knew what they were talking about. I understood what was going on. I understood the dynamics of the changes that had taken place.
I knew stuff again. I like knowing stuff.
I miss knowing stuff.