California Cold and Doubt

It is cold!  Maybe to the thicker-skinned types this would almost be shorts-and-tank top weather, but I’m telling you I’m freezing my you-know-what off.  It is currently about 7:45 pm and 42°F.  We had a 10 minute rainstorm this morning, then sun and puffy clouds the rest of the day.  The combination of wet earth, lack of insulating cloud layer, and mild wind has sent us on a downward temperature spiral.  I may actually wear pants to bed.

I managed some View Club shots today:

San Gabriel Mountains, 1-10-13

San Gabriel Mountains, 1-10-13

Construction 1-10-13

Construction 1-10-13

Boone Sculpture Garden, 1-10-13

Boone Sculpture Garden, 1-10-13

I know the sky looks absolutely clear, but here’s what I saw when I turned east:

ds1 ds2 ds3The remnants of that morning storm were moving out of our little valley and piling up over the low desert areas.  The high desert areas, on the other side of the mountains, were iced in.  All roads over the mountains were restricted or closed.

I’m glad to be back at school. This is the first time in my entire life I’ve actually missed having homework!  Either I am definitely on a path I need to be on, or I’ve finally snapped.  Probably both.  I still doubt this path, though. The few short months I’ve been back at school have already been an amazing journey.  Just today I joined my first ever club!  And I became the Inter-Club Council representative!  I have no idea what that entails other than twice-monthly meetings, but it sounds good on an application.  Financially, though, things are plain bad.  Extra expenses that used to be minor inconveniences, like doctor visits or car troubles, are catastrophic now.  A student worker job at school, plus another weekend job, are both in the works, but they are very, very slow to come.  The weekend job is contingent on someone else being fired, and hoping for it to happen screws with my karma, but that’s where I am.  I feel guilty every day: that living has become so hard, that my kids have to do without so much, and that other [generous] people have to pick up my slack.  It’s taking it’s toll on everyone’s patience, and support for my academic endeavor is waning.  I’m starting to wonder myself if this is really a good idea.  For every high there seems to be an equal and opposite low.  Or two.

Okay, take a good, refocusing breath with me.  Thank you for your sympathetic thoughts during my pity party.  It’s over for now.  I’m serving coffee and handing back your coats.

On a completely positive note, Squishy…no, that’s not right.  That’s Finding Nemo.  What did I call him?  Smushy!  Smushy is a week old, and already looking less smushy.

DJ, 1 week old.

DJ, 1 week old.

He is just the cutest!  Mommy is recovering well, laughing about her new battle scars and handling the rigors of caring for a newborn with relative ease.  Daddy is just being his phenomenal self.  You’ve never seen a more precious trio.  ❤

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13 thoughts on “California Cold and Doubt

  1. hello, Janine… am a huge fan of clouds. don’t wonder if i always click posts that have clouds in them, hahaha. i take pictures of them at different hours myself, whenever I can – certified cloud crazy, ahuh…

    btw, babies come whenever the tides of life rush in, to make things lighter and softer, huh? plus, they inspire people, people who maybe under the weather or in clouds of doubt? 😉 🙂

    still, happy, busy New Year! regards… ~ San

  2. Oh, that beautiful cupid’s-bow shaped mouth…He’s just beautiful!
    Hang in there – it’ll be worth it in the end. When my 3 kids were small, my then-husband quit his dead-end job to go back to school. Yes, there were lots of stressful times, overdue bills, and baloney sandwiches, but we survived, and were sucessful after.
    Baloney is no longer welcome in my house, in case you were wondering… 😉

  3. First off, and I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you, you snapped many years ago. Get over it and move on. Second, you know I made it through school a while back. Stick it out. Let the generous people be generous, you can pay them back later. Your kids understand better than you think. Do what you can with the bills and expenses and let the rest go. Have the serenity to accept the things you can not change (sound familiar?). Lastly, that is one cute little one. Congrats to him and his parents.

    • The kids do understand and are extremely supportive, but Jess has duct tape on the soles of her shoes. On the plus side of that, it’s cute pink and white polka-dotted duct tape. And may I just add…you people and your stupid steps. ❤

  4. Wonderful shots of those clouds over on the eastern side of the San Gabriels. Yesterday I was in Pasadena and the clouds had either dissipated or not yet settled in in relation to your pictures. But the snow on Mt. Baldy, et al. was spectacular. Alas, I don’t have any sage advice to offer about your financial woes, except to offer my sympathies and a prayer that things will change for the better.

    Just read an obituary in the L.A. Times today about Evan Connell (1924-2013), considered to be one of the most important post World War II American writers. Seems as though for a time he too passed through some very hard times, and he delivered mail, read gas meters, and ironically was a counselor at an unemployment office, just to barely get by. But he made it through. Not sure this is any encouragement for you, but for what it’s worth. I personally believe that you have a very bright future ahead of you.
    http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-evan-connell-20130111,0,2088045.story

  5. Hard to comment on such harsh hitting situation. I tell yah whut though. Been there, done that. I guess, let’s hope that everything turns out good for you. Stay strong, more power and good luck in what you do.

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