I can’t write today. I’m too distracted.
I log into Facebook, as I do several times a day out of sheer habit. I see Esther (Esther Bradley-DeTally, world citizen, writing teacher extraordinaire and a beautiful soul) shared a link. It’s a blog called Mel’s Madness. Hey, I have a blog! I’ll visit Mel for inspiration.
Mel is subscribed to a blog called My Name Is Not Bob. Why, so is Esther! I should check him out.
Not Bob shares a story from Bernadette, who had a paradigm-shifting experience when she lost her passport in Peru. Amazing. Would I learn a life lesson from an experience like that? Probably not. I’d crawl into a hole under a rock and never leave Los Angeles again. Turns out Bernadette is from Ventura. Dude, I love Ventura!
Esther posted a link to another blog. Someone calling himself MiskMask. Where do people come up with this stuff? Someday I’m going to break into spontaneous creativity, like a flashmob of good ideas in my brain, and pull out a clever alias like MiskMask or Sorry Gnat or Not Bob. It was all I could do to chose something-dot-wordpress-dot-com, and it’s not at all witty.
This MiskMask guy used a picture as a writing prompt. How ingenious! In five sentences he turned a strange little figure with swirly eyeglasses and a fur coat into a guy named Dan who works on a merry-go-round. Brilliant! I need to see more. I find his previous blog entry, which lists writing tips from John Steinbeck. Number one says, “Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish.” I think of the memoirs I’m helping my grandmother write. Oh. My. GAWD! I’m never going to finish!!! Abandon all hope, ye who enter this acursed realm o’ writing!
This is ridiculous. I’ve got to write. Watermelon. I’ll write about watermelon. Cheap, intoxicating, improperly balled, seasoned with lemon and mint, grilled like a steak, sold from the back of pickup trucks, offered as gifts from Great Grandpa. I could go on and on about these damn politicians who don’t care about taxpayers as long as they look good on TV…wait, what?
My thoughts have been infiltrated by an old man armed with a web browser. Swell.
“Look at this: they’re talking about retirement savings. There’s no such thing, okay. You can spend your whole life saving up for retirement, but these idiots find a way to take it from you before you’re even eligible to retire. Did you read this article about global warming? Look, if they’re so worried about the polar ice caps melting, they should build an ark like that Noah guy and just wait it out there. Jeez, look at this lady…”
So, please forgive me for not writing today. I’m entirely too distracted.